Ambon sa Tacloban

Noong 90’s, nagsulputan ang local band at talagang humataw. Pinangunahan ito ng paborito naming magkakapatid na Eraserheads. Isa pa sa mga bandang aking nagustuhan ay ang True Faith. Sa lahat ng naging kanta nila, itong Ambon ang aking pinakapaborito. Para kasing maganda siyang ikanta sa kaibigang namumorblema o sa kakilalang may pinagdadaanan.

Ano'ng nararamdaman

Tila ba'y nasasakupan

Lumbay at kalungkutan

Nais mo bang ika'y makaraos din

Refrain 1:

Di ba't pananampalataya

Kailangan upang makaahon

Sa delubyong iyong nararanasan

At sa kasawian na dulot ng panahon

Ambon lang yan (ahh)

Ambon lang yan (ahh)

Sa aking pakikipaghuntahan sa Tacloban --- dun kay Manong Tricycle Driver na natangayan ng bahay at pangkabuhayan, kay Eugene na hindi pa alam kung saan makakauha ng susunod na hapunan, dun sa magpuputong nag-iisa na lang sa buhay dahil namatay lahat ng kapamilya, dun kay Ate ng Dahil Sa Iyo eatery, dun kay Padre Edwin ng St. Anne Parish, dun sa Manang na nagrorosaryo sa Palo, Cathedral, dun sa Lolang nagtyatyagang bantayan ang puntod ng kanyang asawa sa harap ng San Joaquin Church --- ito ang aking nalaman: Ambon lang ang Yolanda.


Kalangitan ay umiitim

Naupos ang ilaw ng mga bituin

At sa paglipas ng oras ika'y napaiyak

Mga luhang tumulo buhat ng iyong pagtitimpi

Refrain 2:

Di ba't ang Diyos ang siyang liwanag

Sa dulo ng madilim na daan

Sa kanya lamang manalangin

At wag nang tumungo pa kung kahit saan-saan

Ambon lang yan (aaah) 

Ambon lang yan.

 Sa gitna ng matinding dagok, sa dami ng mga nasira at namatay; sa gitna ng mga nawala at nawalan, sa lakas ng hagupit, sa lupit ng hampas ng hangin at taas ng tubig na dumaluyong --- para sa kanila, ambon lang ang Yolanda.

Mas malakas pa rin ang kanilang pinagkakapitan. Mas matindi pa rin ang kanilang pananampalataya. Para sa mga may Diyos --- ambon lang ang Yolanda.

Tara na sa Tacloban, katumbas nito’y byaheng langit, kung saan sa Diyos lahat nakakapit.

Refrain 3:

Yayain mo ako sa yong jeepney

Sa makulay at magara mong jeepney

Na ang biyahe ay patungong langit

Kahit na signal no. 3, tayo ay magsisiawit

Kung ako'y sinusumpong,

daglian mong ibubulong

Ambon lang yan (ahh)

Ambon lang yan (ahh)

Push and Delete

After my thank you list, here are my wishes for 2014. Again, this is personal, all of me and for me. 

PUSH for Good Health. I will push for a health card and will re-assess my Philhealth. You will never know really. I brought someone in a hospital and saw myself that it was really horrible and difficult not to have an HMO.

DELETE negativity and toxicity. The biggest killers really are from within, what we store in our heart, what we keep in our mind, and what we really (and don’t) digest in our stomach.

PUSH for Fitness. It’s my only guilty pleasure, if you would call it one. It’s expensive to keep the membership but when I actually stopped for 3 months, I gained back massive weight and my core area grew back an island on its own.

DELETE extra-curricular activities. Actually, I have long given up hedonist lifestyle; you know, party-party, drink and be merry attitude. I won’t give up Jack Daniel’s though but promise to take it easy.

PUSH for Healthy Diet. I remember not eating rice for two years, not a single grain. No soda, no beer, no chocolates, no burger, no Starbucks, no ice cream. It was not healthy. Sure, I lost weight, even went down to 57k. But I also lost appetite, as in I puke every time would try to eat. It led me to mild depression. It made me grumpy and unhappy.

DELETE my passion for sweets. Ok, will keep my sweetness ala-Kathryn Bernardo but will TRY to stay away from Hershey’s, Reese’s, M&M’s and their cohorts.

PUSH for Juicing up, for Nilagang Saging, Kamote at Itlog, for Lean Meat and for Oatmeal. That was my secret before and will do it again.

DELETE deprivation. Won’t give in to unnecessary cravings but will not deprive self, sounds contradictory, but surely I will find ways or alternatives. Basta, no to deprivation. I can cheat and eat, everything in moderation and in correct pacing/timing.

PUSH for Happiness. It’s an endless pursuit as they say, but hey, it’s just ‘around the corner’, deep within us, all around us. I will make myself happier in 2014. I will have the courage to talk to my man-crush, I will watch more movies (in 2013, I think the only time I actually went to the mainstream cinema was during the MMFF for Kimmy Dora, I missed a lot!), I will have more time to smell the flowers and fly a kite. I will have more time for Nathan. I will fall in love to a real person. I will run, go to the beach (Puerto Galera, I super miss you), climb a mountain again, BIKE!, I will travel more (BATANES, VIETNAM, THAILAND --- WISH NGA EH!) I will DANCE AGAIN.

DELETE Negative Vibes. I have long deleted nega people on my FB account. Those arrogant, nosy stalkers and rumor mongers, I will delete them in my life. Those self-righteous, all-knowing, all-talk-do-nothing ‘church’ people, I will be Cory Aquino (stoic, icy, just praying the rosary in order not to notice that they still exist) to them.

PUSH for Kindness. As I pray for patience every praying time, I also wish that I will be a little kinder. Kinder to myself, kinder to my brothers and Titas, kinder to my neighbors. Kinder to strangers (huwag mo lang Ate i-flip yang hair mo sa face ko ha, baka i-push kita sa FX), kinder to women.

DELETE Hatred. It’s my advocacy to hate hate. No rejections, no discrimination, no bullying. No fighting on FB, no back-stabbing, no trash talking. No homophobia, no religious BS. No hate.   (To Kobe Bryant haters, may you rest in peace. You just have been deleted).

My Thank You List

I no longer remember the last time I wrote a full blog. Technically, it wasn’t even a blog because it was not virtually published. Meaning, I just pounded my keyboard to digitally make a journal but it didn’t see publication in any of my blogsites.

Moving forward, as we all look up and forward, onto year 2014, I am writing a blog (at this point, it is just a draft, hope I would get internet connection and have it ‘blogged’).

And the best way to start a new blogging year is to express gratitude. Yes, a thank you list.  This is personal but some of things and people I am thankful for may be not directly about me or for me.

Here goes:

1.    The Volunteers – they should be no. 1 in my own book of gratitude. From Zamboanga to Bohol to Leyte; from Sagip Kapamilya to Habitat for Humanity, from Oplan Hatid to Red Cross, from NGOs to private individuals.

2.    The Yolanda Survivors – I will never forget these words from a woman whose house was totally washed out, ‘tuloy pa rin ang buhay, iho; Salamat sa Diyos, buhay pa kami.’ Thank you for reminding me about true faith. Thank you for showing me how to be really thankful, despite and in spite of everything.

3.    The Family – I lost an uncle on a day an aunt returned home from the States. We were supposed to be rejoicing but we ended up grieving. Talking about perfect timing. Yes, it was the most perfect time to bond, to be strong for each other.

4.    The One Friend: Fr. Erik Adoviso – his short and simple text at the last hour of 2013 was an affirmation that I have at least one genuine friend.

5.    The First Nephew - Nathan is a walking light bulb. He brightens up the day, even at his worst tantrum fit. Barely 2 years old, he has mastered use of iPad and iPhone, both of which I don’t even have. A Jollibee addict, a Bossing fan and already a Barangay Ginebra supporter --- all of which I hate but won’t make me love him less.

6.    The DLSU Green Archers – they have to be on my list. It’s a great year and as Coach Juno said, the team is going to be better next (this) year. Indeed, greatness never ends for the Archers. Special mention to AVO. The guy is really gorgeous and he has tremendously improved as a player.

7.    The Unwavering Friendship – It is hard to be Tonichi Fernandez and it’s harder to put up with one Tonichi Fernandez. But thank God for the gift of friendship as people who matter in my life stayed on for me and, fingers crossed, would stay for and with me forever. Special mention to Nanay Becka, Tita Beth, Fr. Jek and Sis. Emy. With them, bawal ang sad. Thank you for making me smile and laugh. Thank you also to Drei Villar. Also to DLSU friends. Tita Vi, Tita Nympha, Tita Carol and Bar. Tito Ed, Tito Manny and Arvin. Bea and Camille. Cricket, Les and Pam. And yes, Tita Ginna Capistrano. Of course, Kris Aldover and Rich Ysmael. Krissy, you are an angel!

8.    The Partners – For me, they are not just officemates or colleagues. They are not just bosses or superiors. 2013 was so testy for me; career was not really that steady but hey, I managed to survive. I don’t know where 2014 will take me --- but like Kris Aquino, despite the ups and downs, I am not going anywhere. Thanks to Minell, AMF, Ms Beng, Bossing Miguel, Jackie, Miss Babes, Teenay, Manny, Isay, Ashley, Axcel. Thank you also to Anne Curtis, so pleasant to work with! I have to mention Larry, Jules, Mother Judith, Janet, Karen and the wonderful people of CDO and Bacolod. Pabalikin nyo na ako dyan!   

  

9.    The Social Network – Got reconnected with wonderful people like Michele Arandela, Cecil Santos and Jim Libiran, kept me always in touch with everybody

--- From Ireland to the States, from Dubai to Davao, from Sampaloc to Switzerland. Got crazy comments from Joel Pelayo, got prayers from Glad Adefuin, got hugs across the globe. Chatted with my man-crush, flirted with basketball players and hooked up with _________________. Thank you FB, Tumblr and IG.

10. My Brothers – I promised myself to be less dramatic in 2014, so no tears here, ok? Just thank you my brothers. I guess, over and above friends who put up with me, my brothers are those who are most patient with me. Thank you also to my sis-in-law Miles.

Lastly, I thank the Lord Jesus Christ. For everything, for every piece of me, for every second of my life --- a sinner like me doesn’t deserve all Your Love and Mercy, but You took me in Your Arms and gave me unlimited second chances.