Mama Lola at Mamita

Tulad ko, ang aking Mama ay panganay, walo silang magkakapatid. In alphabetical order ang kanilang mga pangalan, kaya ang mama ko A for Amy. Apat silang babae, yung pangatlo, letter C for Celia, yung panglima, E for Elvie at pang-anim, F for Flor. Si Mama ay nasa heaven na, si Tita Cel ay nasa Chicago. Kaya ang kasama namin sa bahay ay yung dalawang kong single-forever na tiyahin, sina Tita Elvie at  Tita Flor. 


Kung titingnan, extremes sila. Noranian yung isa, Vilmanian yung pangalawa. Maka-Ginebra at Toyota yung isa, maka-San Miguel at Crispa yung pangalawa. Si Tita Elvie, friendly sa kapitbahay lalo na nung may tindahan pa siya. Matsika at talagang kilala niya ang mga kapitbahay namin, ultimo yung mga bagong silang na sanggol. Pinapatakbo nga siya dati sa barangay. Si Tita Flor ay bihira lamang masilayan ng aming mga kapitbahay. Lalabas lang yan pag pupunta ng SM, magsisimba sa Quiapo o sasamahan sa hospital yung isa pa nilang kapatid, yung pang-apat, D for Domingo Jr. 


Noong maliit ako ay lagi akong sinasama ni Tita Elvie sa Trabajo Market, hindi lang para mamalengke kundi para manood ng sine sa Mercury. Doon ko nakilala si Nora Aunor, sa mga pelikulang Kung Ako'y IIwan Mo, Minsan May Isang Gamu-Gamo at Mahal Mo, Mahal Ko. Si Tita Flor naman ay sa basketball ako sinasama. Ang iikli pa ng shorts ng mga basketball player noon kaya nag-eenjoy na rin ako. Na-realize ko lang noong nagkaisip na ako na marahil kaya ako sinasama ay para hindi sila mapagalitan ng aking Lolo, ang kanilang Tatay. Ang dahilan nila, pinasyal ko lang si Anthony. (Ako yun!)


Parehong mapagmahal sa mga pamangkin sina Tita Elvie at Tita Flor. Lahat kaming magkakapatid ay dumaan sa kamay nila pareho. Si Tita Elvie ay para sa infant stage, siya ang nag-alaga sa aming lahat noong kami ay mga baby pa. Tagapalit ng diaper, tagapagpadighay, tagapaghele, tagapagbasa ng komiks. Kaya nga sa kanya ko rin natutunang makahiligan ang pagbabasa ng komiks at pagiging malikhain sa paggawa ng sanaysay at kuwento. Si Ate Flor naman ay habang lumalaki ay taga-spoil naman namin. Laging may pasalubong noong nagtratabaho pa siya, laging may regalo at talagang pinapamili pa niya ako noon. Kasiyahan niya na yung ibigay sa amin yung hindi kayang ibigay ng aming mga magulang tulad ng bagong sapatos o bag. Inisip ko nga rin ay ako ang paboritong pamangkin ni Tita Flor. Pero ngayon ang paborito niya na ay si Jerome.


Si  Tita Elvie ay magaling sa pagdidisiplina. Pero mas nakatatak sa aking  isipan ( at tiyan) ang kanyang pinakamasarap na Menudo at Bulalo. As in, walang kapantay sa sarap. Sa kanya ko rin nakita ang pagiging maalahanin at malambing. Kahit ano pang pagkukulang at kalokohan naming magkakapatid, hahanapin pa rin niya si Ing. Ipagtatanong pa rin niya si Joseph. Sasabihin niya sa akin tuwing darating ako, may ulam sa bahay, nagluto ako ng Munggo. Sisilipin niya pa rin kami kung lahat kami ay nasa bahay at tulog na. Yung pag-aalaga ni Tita Elvie sa amin noong bata pa kami ay hanggang ngayon ay dala-dala namin sa aming mga puso. Sa kanya kami lumaki lahat no!


Si Tita Flor ay aaklain mong suplada pero napakagaling mag-alaga. HIndi lamang sa Tito Junior namin, hindi lang kay Jerome at Jenny, kundi sa aming lahat. Tatak niya na yung mataas na boses o yung mga tanong na 'maputi ba mukha ko o hindi ba pangit suot ko?'  Araw-araw yatang naglalaba, araw-araw naglilinis at nagliligpit, araw-araw at gabi-gabing nag-aalaga. May sariling pamamaraan ng pagmamahal si Tita Flor. Mula high school at hanggang college ay niyayaya niya akong mamasyal o manood ng sine. Kapag may kahon galing sa Chicago, lagi akong may lotion o pabango o kahit anong anik-anik na parang nirereserve niyta para sa akin. Binabawi ko na, alam ko, hanggang ngayong ako pa rin ang kanyang paboritong pamangkin!


Ngayon, sina Tita Elvie at Tita Flor  ay may bago nang pinagkakaabalahan: si Nathan. Ang una naming  pamangkin, ang una nilang apo sa aming magkakapatid (may mga apo na sila sa mga iba kong pinsan). May kani-kaniyang role, may kani-kaniyang pamamaraan o style, may sari-sariling touch --- pero pareho nilang minamahal at inaaruga si Nathan. Nauubos din ang oras nila kay Nathan, tumitigil ang kanilang mundo dahil kay Nathan, nakakalimutan nila ang lahat pati na ang panonood ng Dong-yi dahil kay Nathan. Hindi matutulog nang matiwasay hanggang hindi nakakatulog ng maayos si Nathan. Gigising at magigising kapag gigising at magigising si Nathan. 


At dahil kay Nathan, iba na rin ang tawag sa kanila: Si Tita Elvie ay si Mama Lola at si Tita Flor ay si Mamita. Pero kahit ano pang tawag o bansag, pareho silang mapagmahal at magaling mag-aruga. Pareho silang mananatili sa aking puso hanggang sa huling yugto ng aking buhay.

Loving Your Neighbor (The Calabash Road Way)

Loving Your Neighbor

Paano nga ba magmamahal ng kapitbahay kung saksakan sila ng ingay kahit hatinggabi na? Kung 6AM pa lang ay bumibirit na ng Dancing Queen sa videoke na naka-full volume? Kung nagpapadumi ng aso sa tapat niyo at iiwan na lang? Kung nagpapakain ng mga pusakal (pusang kalye) ng alas tres ng madaling araw habang parang nagcoconcert ang mga pusakal? Kung gabi-gabi na lang ay may inuman sa daan? Kung sa kalye naglalaba at ang dahilan ay baka madulas daw sila sa bakuran nila? Kung sa kalye ng nag-aalmusal, nanonood ng DVD at nag-totong-its? Kung yung kapitbahay mong naka-wheelchair ay may built-in surround stereo ang wheelchair at daig pa ang may wang-wang pag nagdadaan, kahit madaling araw na? Kung yung kapitbahay mong pag natatalo sa casino ay binabalandra ang sasakyan sa daan at bubusina ng malakas para pagbuksan siya ng gate sa madaling araw? Kung war freak pag lasing? Kung maaga pa lang ay nasa kalye na at pinagtsitsimisan ang bagong issue? Kung hindi nagwawalis ng tapat nila at kung magwalis man e papunta sa tapat niyo ang kalat? Kung iniiwan ang basura sa labas ng bahay at pagkatapos ay titirahin ng mga pusakal kaya magkakalat? Paano nga ba?

Wala akong sagot diyan. Since birth ay dito na kami nakatira sa Sampaloc. Sabi nga nila kakaunti na lang kaming mga original sa Calabash Road at maraming nang mga ‘bagong kapitbahay’. Kasama na yung mamang naka-wheel chair na nagpapautang ng five-six na saksakan ng ingay lalo na pag nalalasing. At yung nagcacasino na gumawa ng eksena noong New Year’s Eve dahil talunan sa sugal. O yung mga bagets na naglagay ng basketball ring sa gitna ng daan at hindi tumitigil sa paglalaro kahit nagdadaan ka. O yung pamilya na may prankisa ng maraming tricycle, may barbecue stand at tindahan. Karamihan sa mga ‘bagong kapitbahay’ ay di ko na gaanong kakilala.  

Pero masaya sa kalye namin. Kahit nangangarap pa akong mag-condo o tumira sa Forbes Park, hindi ko pa rin naisip iwanan ang Calabash Road. Kahit papaano, nakakakita ako ng ‘pagmamahalan’ sa kapitbahayan. Kapag may okasyon, uso pa rin sa kalye naming yung ‘uy dalhan mo naman ng pansit si Baby’. Kapag Piyesta, parang reunion, kasi dumadating din ang mga ‘dating kapitbahay’. Kapag New Year’s Eve, may street party (hindi nga lang kasali yung natalo sa casino), nagpapaagaw ng pera si Melissa, nagpapasiklaban ng mga paputok, bumabaha ng alak at leche flan para sa lahat. May trick or treat, may pa-swimming, yung iba nag-pu-food trip pa sa mga murang buffet resto sa paligid ng Metro Manila. Kaya nga nabuo yung Tropang Calabash. Para lang tourism campaign ang peg. It’s more fun in Calabash Road. 

Nitong mga nakaraang araw ay hectic sa aming kalye at gising na gising ang lahat naming kapitbahay. Dalawa kasi ang namatay nang magkasunod at sabay ang kanilang burol at libing  (sumalangit nawa ang kaluluwa nina Oday at Aling Lita). Kaya nga, lagare nga kami kagabi kasi parehong Big Night (huling gabi ng burol). Sabi nga nuong isa naming kapitbahay, para daw may Bisita Iglesia. Maraming tao, maraming sugal, maraming maingay na motor at pagsigaw ng Bingo, maraming kape at Red Horse, maraming sopas at sotanghon, maraming biscuit.

Pero mas marami ang pakikiramay. Mas marami ang pakikidalamhati. Mas marami ang pakikiisa sa kalungkutan. Magkaiba ang dahilan ng kanilang pagkamatay, magkaibang sitwasyon ng kani-kanilang pamilya --- pero ang Tropang Calabash, magkaisa sa pagbibigay parangal sa namatay at pagdamay sa namatayan. 

Kaninang umaga ay sabay ililibing sina Oday at Aling Lita. Bago ako umalis papasok sa opisina, nakita ko ang aking mga mahal na kapitbahay na tulong-tulong sa pagligpit ng mga tolda at silya, sa pagwawalis ng daan, sa pag-aayos at paghahanda sa paghatid sa kani-kanilang huling hantungan, sa pakikipag-usap sa mga kapamilya.

 Doon po sa amin sa Calabash Road, tunay at wagas ang ‘Love Your Neighbor.’

To My Nathan

You changed my life and how.

You are changing the way I look at mornings. I am usually up at 4:30AM, would do my morning ‘prayer time’, would reflect while sipping coffee afterwards, would take a quick shower, dress up and attend Morning Mass. If there’s time (or if the Presiding Priest is Fr. Robert), I would sprint or do some yoga poses. After Mass, visit the Adoration Chapel, have breakfast, read the papers or catch the news on TV, then take a long bath, dress up and go to work. But when you came, everything is juggled. You have become my alarm clock, your wailing is far more ‘alarming’ and would rouse even a dragon from deep slumber. My prayer time is longer as you have become part of my litany. I don’t jog anymore before Mass and make sure I would run back home after a very short visit at the Adoration Chapel. I want to be there at 6:30AM, your sun bathing time. I would carry you, I would talk to you, I would sing to you Our Father, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin, and ABC. I would just stare, I would just sit there. I would whisper I love you, I would say a prayer for you. Until I would realize I am already late for work.

You are changing the way I appreciate sunshine. Your pedia said you were yellowish and the lab test proved that --- and we all panicked. You had to undergo ‘phototherapy’, you had to be confined. After your agonizing hospital stay, we all had to do some sun dancing just to ask the Mighty Sun to come out. We all had to stare up the sky, shoo away those nasty clouds, and we even wrote Anne Curtis to stop singing so the ‘low pressure area’ would just go away. We all had to wait for the precious sunshine, my dear Nathan. And when it finally rose, we both laughed and cried. We raised you like an offering, we let you touch the sun like you were Simba. Indeed, it’s your time to shine. 

You are changing the way I feel. I was never been demonstrative about my feelings. I never share, I never open up, I never talk about my personal drama. Sure, I write. But I never express. Sure, I share my blogs. But I never really sit down and tell anyone about my life story.  Sure I vent out through shout outs and status posts. But I never really showed what’s inside me. I have kept everything, my hurt, my angst, my pain --- even my joys --- to myself. But you changed all that, my dear Nathan. I am no longer afraid to show my true colors. And I am happier this way.

Perhaps, it has something to do with how you wail; you’re like a fireball, red and furious. Perhaps, it’s the way you smile. Or it’s the way you raise your fingers to touch my hand. Perhaps, it has something to do with how your eyes glisten or how you fart like a big fat boy. Perhaps, it’s how you kick during feeding time or how you become all still and quiet when I sing to you Our Father, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin and ABC. It’s all that my dear Nathan, how you show me your feelings, how you express yourself. You are so trusting, you are so open, you are so demonstrative. You make me believe I could be all that. That I could be happier that way.

You are changing the way I am living my life. Like it’s my first day-last day. Like it’s always brand new, every morning I wake up is a blessing, every night I sleep I surrender to Him. Like I am not carrying a cross, no more pain and sorrows, even those I have surrendered to Him. Like time is not ticking away, because every minute is dedicated to you; I swear the best of my time, the rest of life is all for you.

Your birthday March 11 was an auspicious day for both of us. It was the day your life started and my whole life has changed.  

Pagdating ng Panahon

Darating ang panahon na ako’y lilisan.

Sana hindi niyo ako makalimutan

Babaunin ko sa aking puso’t isipan

Ang ating pagkakaibigan.

Darating ang panahon na ako’y mawawala na lamang

Ako’y patawarin kung hindi makapagpaalam.

Tanging hiling ko lamang ay inyong panalangin

Upang tunay na kapayapaan ay mapasaakin.

Darating ang panahon ang lahat ay matatapos

Kasama ang mga agam-agam at mga takot

Salamat sa pakiisa sa aking paglalakbay

Patawad kung  kailangan nang mapahiwalay

Sa pagdating ng panahon

Wala nang luha, lubos ang tuwa.

Sa pagdating ng panahon

Walang hanggan ay makakamtan na.  

An open letter to my future boytoy

Geez, I am already 44 and still feeling 'girly'.

I admit. I have been looking at you, nay, staring, ogling even. I just couldn't keep my eyes off your beautiful face. You remind me of no one. Not Piolo, not Alfie Anido, not Brad Pitt. Your face is just perfectly chiseled that it's almost impossible to describe it. Ok, I am exaggerating. But for me, you've got a face that would make me forget that I had a bad morning, that would make me remember that there's always sunshine after the rain.

I melt. You don't look straight to me but I know you're looking, you're noticing my stare. This morning, you're seated beside me. I can feel everything. Your breath. Your skin. Your 'balahibo'. Your sideways stare. I was blatantly staring back. I was obviously hyperventilating. I had to pray ten Hail Mary's to temper myself, to control my growing desire to hold your hand or to pretend sleeping and lean to your right shoulder. I was not successful. I didn't grab your hand but yes, I ran my fingers to your forearm. I didn't just lean my head to your shoulder, instead, I silently kissed it. I know you noticed. I know you knew. I heard your deep sigh. I felt your heavy breathing, as if anticipating something else or something more. I thought I can do more. But that's enough hooray for the day.

I give in. I promised to be good, to give up 'desiring'. I am used to just looking, to staring, to ogling. I am used to just admiring. You must be Michaelangelo's inspiration, you must be a Greek god, you must be an Olympian warrior, you must be an apparition. But the admiring went to a different level when I realized you knew I was looking, staring and ogling. You started to flirt with your half-smile. You started to seduce. You started to make me feel weak, melted and totally girly.

I accept. This morning, both us breathing like we were running in a treadmill, you made an invitation, A proposal perhaps. I don't know. But whatever it is, I accepted. I got your number, thank you. I was surprised by your move. You opened your Samsung phone and showed me your name and contact info. I texted you as soon as I had the chance and you swiftly texted back.

I realize. You are a real estate consultant and you're selling me a piece of land in Ortigas. But I realized, all I wanted was just a piece of meat. I passed. Sorry.

I am 44 and still an 'ilusyonada.'

An open letter to my future nephew

Geez, I had to be 44 before I could become a real uncle.

I am used to be called Kuya, Sir, Pare, Ninong and yes, Mama Nich. Now that you’re coming real soon, I am feverish to the notion that somebody will finally call me Tito.

Your parents have a name for you already --- Nathaniel. Indeed, you are an angel, you will be our angel. We are deciding which nick would suit an angel like you. Nate or Nathan? But before you could be christened or called by different names or terms of endearment, let me, your loving Tito, call you My Neph.

My Neph, everyone is agog by your coming out. Excitement is an understatement of what we feel in our hearts.

Tita Elvie bought a baby drawer for you. Tita Elvie, as you will know, is a sister of Mama and our doting tagapag-alaga. All of us were reared by her; but it was your father, Benedick, our bunso, who became her favorite. In return, Benedick calls her Mommy Vie. So you, My Neph, would call Tita Elvie, Mommy Lola.

Tita Flor bought  a lot of baby items to fill that drawer. Those cute baby dresses, all in blue! Diapers, blankets, and pillows and many more. Tito Gerry promised that he will buy a crib for you, I am sure Tito Hernan will match that with a stroller perhaps. Tita Celia has been checking on your Mom, calling night and day from Chicago. Wala pa ba? Hindi pa nangnaganak si Myles? And Tito Junior, despite his speech impairment due to a massive stroke, is already practicing to mumble your name.

And us, your Papa Benedick’s brothers? We just couldn’t hide or contain it. This is really it. Finally. A baby. A nephew. Wow. The whole idea boggles us. The miracle of life is so awesome. Our bunso will soon become a father. Soon, a tiny tot will whisper to us that word: Tito. Oh Man, that would be the sweetest name, that would be a lovely music to our ears! Say it again, Tito.  

So My Neph, come out na. Please. I am already crying typing this. And I can imagine the deluge of tears when you finally cry out loud to announce to the whole world that you’re finally here. Those will be tears of joy, of triumph, of celebration, of appreciation, of thanksgiving, of LOVE.

I love you My Neph. Come out na ha.

Geez, I am already 44 and aTito.