13

'I was too young to take it all in. I was too young to even realize I was young. I was just living my life.'

I was still playing Chinese garter, pass the message, Siato, Patintero, street football and hide and seek when I was thirteen. Kids today don’t have those simple luxuries. What they have are the likes of Dota, Counter Strike, and what-seems-to-be-innocent-yet-still-borders-on-violence Plants vs. Zombies.  

I had real buddies --- opponents in Taob-Tiyaya teks, partners (Mother and Daughter) in Piko, and teammates in Cops and Robbers. Kids today don’t need ‘tangible’ playmates. All they need is to go online and play network games. They can have 4,999 Facebook friends, 90% of which, they haven’t met in person. They can follow strangers on Twitter and become not just fans but also copycats.

I was already gay when I was 13. I didn’t pass through any ‘identity crisis’ stage nor didn’t face a mirror to ask myself what am I. All I knew I was young and gay. But even then, I could talk to real people. I could express myself. Kids today are not comforted by the idea of having someone to talk to. They rant, shout out and post their status as if the whole world really cares. They chat with a faceless somebody, worse, to an avatar.

I don’t remember falling in love at 13. Perhaps, I had crushes but didn’t really mind them. My world didn’t revolve around them, although I blamed them for my pimples. I had a friend who lost her virginity at the age of thirteen, the guy was 21. Told her, it was rape. She retorted it was love. 13 and so foolishly in love. Take note, she met the guy through, your guess is right, Facebook.

And now this news:

A 13-year old gay shot his assumed 16-year old lover boy.

There are so many questions running in our minds. All the why’s and how’s. How could a thirteener fall in love like that? How could he kill out of love and jealousy? How could he commit suicide in the name of love?

My psychiatrist, who was interviewed on TV this morning, had an answer. He didn’t have someone to talk to. Perhaps, Dr. Bernadette was right.

The 13-year old kid has found and lost love and decided to end life on Facebook. Nobody really believed his status until he actually did it.