I am 44 and I want to learn and explore more.
Yesterday, I pushed myself to go to a higher level of Yoga. After all the flexing, stretching and balancing, I thought I was ready to twist or be twisted. Back in grade school, I was the champion in Bending Bodies Game. I dreamt of becoming a gymnast, Nadia Comeneci was my hero. But I never really pursued that. I procrastinated all my life. But yesterday I was as stubborn as a fearless child: resolved to join the more difficult Yoga class. I flexed my body like never before. Like I stood on mid-air. Like I flew and soared. I was like my hero, graceful in every execution and installation. At 44, I am ready to do more.
And you think the 'higher' Yoga was enough for me? No, I went on to join another group exercise. This time, 'ang nakakawalang poise' called Body Combat. I looked at my 'classmates' and talked to myself aloud: Tonichi, if these people can do it, why can't you? When the class started, I am humbled and must be humiliated at first. My classmates moved like butterflies that stung like bees. They punched, they boxed, they kicked --- they knew the steps, they knew the moves, the routines. They are Alis and I was just Nonito --- no, a nobody. For the first round, I thought of giving up. I was near the exit, I can just leave without being noticed. Nobody noticed me anyway when I came in. I learned that in that class, there's no special treatment for new students. It's either you join them at the floor, watch and learn, or walk out that door. But yesterday I was like a caterpillar that's so excited to be a butterfly that stings like a bee. Yelled to myself: This is it Tonichi! Punch, Box, Kick, Jump, Cut, Jab! I knew I was 'mukhang tanga' in following and missing the routines. But at the end of last round, I was standing like Ali or Manny or Nonito --- no, I was just Tonichi. Fierce and fearless. At 44, I am reinventing and rediscovering myself.
What will I do next?