Guy-Crush

Is it normal for a man to admire another man? Yes. The operative word is admire; you admire a hero, you idolize a basketball player, you look up to an elder. So, it’s normal. Is it normal to get attracted to another man? Now that’s a different story. Attraction already involves emotions, bordering on desire, on the threshold of sexual knowledge.  Attraction, by law of science, is for unlike poles. But science by itself evolves; so with the state of man. Even the meaning of attraction may have changed; yet, feelings are still involved. Is it normal? Yes, a straight man can feel a degree of attraction to another man.

We call it a guy-crush.  You feel for a certain guy but it does not necessarily mean you want to bed him. You like his ripped abs, but it does not come to a point that you masturbate thinking of his abs. You are fascinated how he dresses but you don’t really get a hard on when he passes by. Dude, it is just a crush. Like what you had when you were in high school; yes, those things that brought pimples to your nose. Every guy, whether they admit or not, has that: a guy-crush.

Having a guy crush does not make you gay. Well, as long as you don’t really get wet dreams over him, the gaydar won’t alarm on you. A guy crush is someone you call Bro or Pre at the gym, but deep inside, you want to be like him. That’s okay. To be like him is far different from To be with him. A guy crush can make you smile when he approaches you to say hi. That’s perfectly alright, as long as you don’t get tickled pink by the gesture. But come to think of it, men don’t come to say hi or hello. So be careful, your guy crush might be the one who’s gay.

In order not to be mistaken that you are gay, make sure you follow some little rules on having a guy crush.

1. Do Not Stare at your Guy Crush. Unless you are having a direct, face to face to conversation with him, it would be foolish to gawk at him even from afar. Do not look at him for more than 0.5 seconds. More than that is already ogling, worse, salivating.

2. Stop sending those PMs on FB, stop liking all his IG posts; in other words, do not cyber-stalk him. Only perverts do that.

3.  Don’t Copycat Him. It’s just a crush, dude, stop acting like a Kim Chui fan. Don’t go to the barber shop and say, I want a Jake Cuenca haircut (I actually overheard someone said that). Don't copy his style, have your own.

4. Do Not Ask for His Number. Excuses like you’re an agent or something, that you are a talent scout, that you have this project. C’mon. Hayaan nyo na lang ang mga beki gumawa ng mga ganyan para-paraaan.

5. Do Not Invite Him for a Couple of Beers. Unless you’re really friends, what’s your agenda? Get him know better? Tandaan, ang baklang may balak, nagpapainom ng alak. So don’t. Unless, you’re ready to slip a secret that you are closeted.

6. Do Not Follow Him at the Sauna. You cannot tame something that naturally protrudes if stimulated, so be careful. It will be a very stiff and awkward situation.

7. If You Happen to be Friends with Him, Act Natural. Just don’t pinch his butt or his cheek. And please, do not call him Idol.

8.  Do Not Tell Him, or anybody. It’s not that you want to keep a secret sacred; it’s just something you don’t really talk about. Can you actually say this: pare crush kita, alam mo ba?

9. Do Not Expect Anything in Return. If you imagine yourself having a mutual admiration pact with him, it’s official, you’re so gay. Do not expect him to be nice to you; do not expect him to be friends with you; do not expect him to have a crush on you, too. If you do, bakla ka nga.

10. Lastly, a crush is a crush is a crush. Remember how you crashed a crush when you were in high school? You just squirted those pimples and that crush is gone. Meaning, it is fleeting. So, chill. You are not gay. Say it again. You are not gay. (If you are having lump on your throat saying this, then you are gay.)

Remember, this is just a guy-crush and you’re not being a quarter of an inch gay about it. If you’re secure about your masculinity, you would agree, it’s pretty normal. Just stick with the rules, ok?