Friday, September 23, 2011

The Best Days of My Life.

The best days of my life
The day I answered Jesus. The invite said RSVP but didn’t click I’m attending immediately. I dilly-dallied. I bought for time. But He never wavered, He patiently waited. There’s no too late, no deadline, no last chance. The door was always open, flashing the neon sign that said: welcome. Finally, I heeded. I entered. My hedonist lifestyle is over, but I’m happier.

The day I stopped being lonely. The pursuit to happiness is endless. And most of the time, pointless. I was happy for a night with a bad hangover next day. I was ecstatic over sex but would feel dirty and guilty after. I was lonely in my struggle to be happy. Then, the paradigm shift. My concept of happiness changed. My happiness no longer depends on who I am with but who I am and what I am. It’s never lonely to be myself.

The day I forgave myself. Healing began in my heart. I could not move on and move forward and forever thought of my father, my mother and everything that has happened to my life.  I was so hard to myself. I was so hard to others. I didn’t feel any love until I forgave. When I decided to break the vicious cycle of hate, I found peace.  I was forgiven, I am now more forgiving.

The day I let go of my weight. And I’m not talking of just physical weight. I had to throw my excess baggage, the only way to believe in myself again. I had to let go of insecurities, anxieties and worries. I embraced myself again. I exhaled all animosity and bitchiness and inhaled all positive energy and good vibes. I am embracing others again. I am embracing life all over again.

The day I love. It’s coming soon, I know it will. I have passed up several chances. I searched for the wrong reasons at the wrong places. Now, I know I can love. I know I am capable of loving. I know I am lovely and lovable. 

No comments: